There are two ways of spreading light:To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
— Edith Wharton
Two things happened this week that set me thinking about this very subject…the act of giving/being charitable to others. First, I was walking down Lexington Avenue and noticed a man standing with a can asking passersby if they can spare some change. As everyone walked by and ignored him, I was tempted to do the same, since this is a fairly common scene on the streets of most urban environments. We (and I am guilty too) assume that they want the money to buy liquor, so usually ignore them and keep walking. I told him I had no change (which I didn’t). “Well”, he said…”I would be just as happy if you bought me something to eat”. I was, in fact, going into the cafe for a cup of coffee and bagel and told him I would. I am sure he thought I was just saying that, but smiled anyway. Being true to my word, I ordered a sandwich for him, not really knowing what he would like, but figured he wouldn’t be too picky. While sitting at the window eating my lunch, I noticed him walking away up Lexington. I wanted to run outside and stop him, to tell him that I had his sandwich, but I was in the middle of eating and couldn’t grab my food fast enough to catch him. I watched as he walked up the street, asking each passerby the same question that he asked me…but not having any luck. I finished my lunch and was wondering what I would do with this sandwich that I bought for him, when I saw him crossing the street back toward his original spot. I ran out of the store, ran up to him and said “here sir is your sandwich…I never break a promise”. His eyes lit up and, I kid you not, he started crying happy tears. He didn’t want money, he just wanted something to eat.
A few days before this, I had a ten dollar rebate coupon for gas. I decided to use it to fill the car, even though I had more than 3/4 of a tank already. At the end, the car only needed $7.00 to fill it completely. He started to take money out of his wallet to give me the 3.00 I was owed. I told him to keep it. You would have thought I told him he won a trip to Europe! He was so appreciative. I guess most gas station attendants don’t get “tipped” too often!
These two separate incidents made me think about how good “I” felt afterward! Yes, I was kind, I was charitable, but I also felt so good myself! Why is that? It is a fact that giving leads to happiness. There is actually a term used by psychologists called “Helper’s High”. This means that being charitable to others releases endorphins that produce a mild version of the sensations one gets from drugs like morphine and heroin. It also lowers stress hormones that cause unhappiness.
When we focus on the positive differences we can make by doing good for others, we find ourselves forgetting about our problems because our energy is being used for a different purpose. When I decided to start my Life and Style Page on Facebook, I wasn’t sure if it would be a waste of time or whether anyone would really care what I had to say. But, I decided to do it anyway. Since then, my followers have reached over 2500, and the words of gratitude that I receive have truly illuminated my life.
I believe that if we all work at being a little more generous, be it with our time, our money, smiles, or even a handshake, our everyday lives will be that much better for it. Little things like letting someone get ahead of us in line, tipping that gas station attendant who took some extra time to wash our windshield, or even offering the person working and sweating on the street a cold drink….Sure, these are small things, but wow, can they make a huge difference in another person’s life as well as yours.
Let’s all do this! At the next opportunity, be generous, be charitable….you’ll love the feeling!
