When we drive, we look in the rear view mirror occasionally, but most of the time we are looking forward. Life should work  the same way. We think and think about all that we could have done better yesterday and about all our past mistakes. This becomes a trap that keeps us from moving forward.  Yesterday is gone. The last 60 seconds have already passed. Whatever happened to make you who you are today is history. It is time to move forward and stop looking back. The way to start is to have something to look forward to each and every day. It doesn’t have to be grandiose or particularly impressive.  Any goal, big or small, is something that will encourage you to get out of bed bright, cheerful, enthusiastic and optimistic because you have something to look forward to. Identify what makes you come alive. If you love gardening, plant a garden and nurture it every day. If you’ve always wanted to travel, make a plan! If you want to be happy, you’ve got to define what you want, put it in writing with an explicit deadline and then take the action steps to make it happen.

When another day begins and you know that there is something you can look forward to and accomplish, your life will become far more positive and full of meaning. Not only will the depressed feelings you have diminish, but your creative juices will start flowing again! You may even notice talents that you never knew you possessed!

Here are some suggestions to get you out of your rut!

Try a new restaurant every week. Read up on new openings or get recommendations from friends;

Take a cooking class;

Learn a new language and then plan a trip to that country;

Start a new exercise;

Take a dancing class and practice each day;

Donate your time to a charitable organization, or simply visit a nursing home or homeless shelter.

Buy tickets to the theater.

Make sure you have social events marked on your calendar at least once a month. If you are on Facebook, there is always an event to go to. You never know who you will meet, plus it gives you something to look forward to.

These are just some suggestions.  You can make your own list.

Tomorrow, I hope you wake up and say, “Another day to achieve a goal, another day to plan something that makes me happy”!

© 2012 Susan Korwin

Two years ago, quite a few “fans” of my Facebook page suggested that I write a book. The thought never entered my mind, as writing short posts every day seemed enough of a challenge. But, the more I thought about it, the more my image on the cover of my own book began to intrigue me. How would I go about it? Well, once the idea was set in motion in my mind, I decided to do whatever it takes to make my new “dream” a reality. This was two years ago. It hasn’t been the easiest thing to accomplish. There were setbacks, roadblocks and many tests of my patience. But, when one decides to commit to something important, it is inevitable that obstacles will arise . There is a saying that there is no such thing as overnight success, and they are completely correct! It definitely takes a few years to be an overnight success (insert laughter). But, with tenacity and an attitude that everything worth doing is worth doing well, I just kept going. I found the right people to help me, I threw out the exact timetable, and I persevered.

Now that my book, “Simple Strides Toward Positive Change: Lessons From Life Coaching”  is complete, the feeling of accomplishment rivals no other! As I sit and look at my long, hard work, I realize that some will like it, some will buy it, some won’t like it, and some won’t buy it. Does this define me? No. My ultimate happiness and fulfillment still has to come from deep within my core as this is what creates true inner peace.

If you would like to read my book, click on this link:http://www.susankorwin.com/wordpress/shop If you would like to read it as a Kindle edition, click on this link:http://www.amazon.com/Simple-Strides-Toward-Positive-ebook/dp/B006T5KXE8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1325672669&sr=1-1

When I was young and working my first job, an older (50ish) co-worker said (and I remember it vividly like it was yesterday), “once you hit 40, life goes by like a speeding bullet”. Of course, being only 23 at the time, she was hitting a deaf ear. I heard what she said, but it really didn’t make much of an impact at the time. As I went through my life, every once in a while I would flashback to those words, especially now! She was so right. Where has the time gone? It really does feel that I blinked and here I am….many,many years later!

I think now about all the times I squandered perfectly wonderful days worrying about inconsequential things like how I didn’t look perfect enough, which friend liked me and which one didn’t, etc. Would I have done the same if I knew how fast time would go and how I would look back and wish I knew what I know now? It’s hard to say. But, I do know that in the present, I try to put things in the right perspective before ruining this valuable gift, which is….the present moment! Unfortunately, we tend to think we are going to live forever and we treat time as a commodity to take for granted. We waste our days on negativity, status seeking, and chasing the happiness that we say we will achieve once “our ship comes in”. We are oblivious to all the opportunities for happiness that surround us each and every day. If you are just existing in your life and waiting for things to change, I suggest you change your perspective starting now. You don’t want to reach the end of your life holding regrets about all you missed. Start prioritizing how you want to live your life, one that is filled with moment after moment of blessings. Find small, simple pleasures and sprinkle them throughout your day. They don’t have to be big things, no drum roll is required. For me, drinking my morning coffee while looking out onto the beautiful sunrise is a joy! I also love dancing every day. You’d be surprised how your cares and woes disappear while dancing to your favorite music, especially songs that bring back happy memories! Make your own list of the simple, pleasurable moments. You will be surprised at how many you come up with!

I have met many people who have gone through terrible illness. I have also met people who were in terrible accidents. All these people share the same emotion. They now appreciate a new found passion and appreciation for life that they took for granted before. They know that in a heartbeat, life can change. Each moment to them now is a gift that needs to be cherished. They now live with passion, opening their arms to embrace every fleeting moment.

Some of us ponder the meaning of life and what our purpose is. For each of us it’s a personal journey. The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to be the best at anything. You don’t have to sit on the sidelines of life because you are afraid of failure. Discover what makes you happy and then go for it. Do something that makes you come alive. Let me say it again: Life is short. If you have a dream, go make it happen. If you always wanted to visit Europe, then make a plan and go! If you are holding on to negative feelings… hate, anger or resentment…let them go. In the end, it doesn’t really matter. We must understand, and I wish I would have realized this as a young woman, that life is not meant to be complicated and stressful. Focus on what really counts!

There are 1,440 minutes in each day. How will you spend yours? Our life may be fleeting, but let’s make sure it doesn’t pass us by!

Copyright 2011, SusanKorwin

“Stop bullying. No one deserves to feel worthless”..Rebecca Black

“I’ve been actually really very pleased to see how much awareness was raised around bullying and how deeply it affects everyone. You know, you don’t have to be the loser kid in high school to be bullied. Bullying and being picked on comes in so many different forms”….Lady Gaga

Yesterday, while stopped in traffic, I noticed a bunch of children, not more than 11 or 12 years old, walking down the street laughing hysterically after being dropped off by the school bus. A few yards ahead of them was a boy about the same age. He was walking with his head down, seemingly agitated. The boy was overweight and it was then that I realized that the reason for the laughter was that another child was screaming insults at him much to the amusement of the others. There are few things that ignite a strong reaction from me, and one of them is when I see someone being bullied. Maybe it’s because I myself was the target of mocking laughter when I was that age. Maybe it’s because my son, who at the very same age, was tormented relentlessly for having bright red hair and freckles and considered a little overweight (I will get to this in a moment).  Maybe I should have minded my own business, but isn’t that what most people do? Maybe I should have driven on and convinced myself that they will eventually leave this poor kid alone, but isn’t that what most people do? I followed my gut and pulled over to the curb, rolled down my window, and gave them a piece of my mind. I told them to put themselves in his shoes. How would they feel if the shoe was on the other foot? How woud they feel if I started laughing at a perceived flaw that I saw in each and every one of them? Does it make them feel powerful to belittle another human being? After speaking my mind, I expected the inevitable backtalk. Much to my surprise, some seemed embarrassed. There was one though, the one who initiated the laughter with his words, that stood there in defiance. As I drove away and looked in my rear view mirror, he continued laughing, probably now at me! What I also noticed was that the others were no longer laughing. Had I made an impact? I don’t know. I do know that the bully will need a lot more discouragement from others in order to stop. His habit is much more ingrained for many reasons which I will talk about.

Let me get back to my personal story. As I said before, I had my share of bullying (you can read about it in my article entitled “Kids Can Be Cruel:How Our Childhood Affects Our Self Esteem”). Let me tell you what my son had to endure. We live on a cul-de-sac and in two houses across from us lived some boys who were the best of friends. They were a year or two older than my son, and as soon as we moved in, the abuse started. My son would be on our driveway playing by himself when they, for no reason, would start throwing rocks at him. I scolded them but the same thing would happen on a daily basis. As soon as I would come out, they would run away. It got to the point where my poor son would be afraid to go out. Then came the time for him to start school. At the bus stop, the abuse was relentless. They would make believe they were his friend and ask him if they could see his bookbag. Since my son was trying so hard to please them, he would hand it to them in hopes that maybe now they would be his friend. Of course, once they got the bag, they threw it as far as they could,  causing laughter and slaps of “high fives”. I had finally had enough of trying to reason with these boys and decided to talk to the parents. Two of the boys lived with their single father and a nanny. The father was working most of the time, so I had to talk to this 19 year old nanny, who, with all due respect, tried her best to handle these kids as best as she could, but wasn’t able to reel them in. I then moved on to the next home of the third boy. My expectation was that the mother of this boy would be completely aggreable that this was unacceptable behavior and offer to take action with her son and possibly even punish him for his behavior. Boy, was I shocked!  Instead of listening to my polite pleas for her son to stop tormenting my son, she started screaming at me! How dare I complain about her son. He is an angel and does well in school!! Who was I to come to her door and complain? Well, there it was in a nutshell. I now realized why her son behaved the way he did. He could do no wrong and never had to face the consequences for bad behavior. It was then that I had to do what I did.  Since the bullying was occurring at the school bus pickup and dropoff area, I decided that it was now possibly a school issue. So, I went to the school and made a complaint. They said they would call these boys down to the office and talk to them. That evening, the same mother who got angry with me, and her husband,came banging at our door and made all kinds of threats against us. They said that they knew my husband was a dentist and they will write nasty things about him. How dare I go to the school and make a complaint, they screamed. (notice how the bullying is evident in the parents as well as their son). I told them I had no choice. Our quality of life is just as important as theirs, and because of their son, ours was awful. If they would have taken control of their son, I would never have done it.  Anyway, from then on, these kids never even looked at my son, and eventually both houses were sold and they moved away. But, what they did to my son will never be erased. My son is now in his late 20’s, and the experiences he tolerated as a child probably has shaped what he has become as an adult.

The experience of being bullied, whether it is verbal, physical, cyber-related or just being excluded from a group, is a universal epidemic. It’s nothing new. It’s not something that has just arisen in this generation, but it is a very hot topic. Tune into any talk show and there will be a celebrity talking about how they were bullied as a child. Unfortunately, even though there are more and more programs in the school system, I believe that bullying is something that will never entirely go away. As long as there are humans, there will be those who get pleasure in making others feel small.  There are many things in life that cause damage: hurricanes, tornadoes, etc. But, what we need to know and get out there is the amount of damage bullying causes!

There is no sugar coated way to put this: Bullying is ABUSE. Abuse of another person is a selfish, narcissistic and sadistic act perpetrated on victims who do not deserve to be treated in this way. The emotional and physical well being of their victim is less important than their thrill of gaining dominance over the victim and attention from others. Bullying causes long term emotional damage. You don’t have to be physically bullied, as words and gestures do just as much harm. The saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me”, is, to me wrong. Broken bones can mend. A black eye heals. What is more difficult to mend is the worst wound of all: Damage to a victim’s self-identity. Bullies want to instill fear and self-loathing, and they usually are successful. No one deserves to feel undesirable, incapable and ineffective as an individual, but that is what happens at the “hands” of a bully. Being bullied at a young age makes you feel “unsafe” in a world where you should always feel safe. It causes depression, anger and bitterness. Eventually you begin to believe the label the bully has placed on you. Unfortunately, our identity arises from social interactions starting in childhood. We start off as clay waiting to be molded. Our self-confidence is continually shaped by those around us, whether it’s overt or subtle. That is why many people follow a group mentality as adults if they were bullied as children. They want to feel that they belong to something, something they never were allowed to belong to as children because they were considered outcasts.

There are many short term effects of bullying, but I think the long term effects are scary: Here are some:

More likely to bully others

Less likely to be offered job opportunities;

Lingering feelings of anger and bitterness;

Difficulty trusting others;

Fear and avoidance of social situations;

Overly sensitive and thin-skinned;

Severe lack of self-esteem

Victims of bullying need support. We cannot be innocent bystanders. My son knew that he had a healthy family support system during his life. My husband and I always made it clear to him that he is smart, talented and handsome. We have done that with all our sons. There is nothing we can do to prevent people from being nasty. But, we CAN make sure we fill their heads with as much positive feedback so that those words will ring in their ears when the negative comments arise. I also make it a point to compliment someone who, to me, looks like they are low in self-confidence. While standing on line in a store one day, I noticed a young girl with her mom. Her posture was terrible (a first clue to a person’s self-esteem). I told her that she had beautiful hair and, like magic, she straightened up and beamed with happiness. It doesn’t take much. If we as a race of human beings all decide to say something nice to someone on a daily basis instead of belittling, smirking or poking fun, maybe then the bullies in this world will take a lesson. We must teach our children at the earliest age possible that it is NOT okay to hurt the feelings of others because they look different, have different beliefs, or don’t enjoy the same activities as you. Realize that if we want the world to be at peace, we must start in our own backyards!

© 2011 Susan Korwin

It is common knowledge that humans are extremely prone to “group thinking”. If you look at the current situation on Wall Street, for example, many of the protestors, when interviewed, could not really answer the question as to why they were there and what the issues were related to the protests. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that these people don’t have the right to be involved in this process. But, if they are there solely because their friends told them to, or if they think it’s the “cool” thing to do at the moment, then they are there for the wrong reason. So many people miss out on life because it is so much easier to be accepted when they follow a group mentality without questioning the qualifications of the people they are following.  Think back to the 1400’s.  The masses believed that the Earth was flat and nothing would convince them otherwise. They blindly followed that concept because everyone else believed it to be true. Then came  Christopher Columbus who disagreed with the popular thought and sought out what he believed to be the truth.

The definition of a leader is one who carves a new path, a path that was made with his own shoes. We owe it to ourselves to be the pilot who steers our life and not allow the pressure or thoughts of others to control what we do and how we think. This is the only way we can live a fulfilling life and one that gives us satisfaction and high self esteem. Keep in mind that there will always be the naysayers who will try to keep you from moving in your own direction. They want to control your thoughts and your actions because it gives them power over you. Be strong because you have the brains and capacity to make the right decisions. As Steve Jobs so aptly stated, “our time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma-which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And, most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary”.

So, always remember, just because an idea is accepted as truth by many people does NOT mean it is the truth. You are intelligent and more than capable of thinking for yourself. If your conclusion happens to run contrary to conventional wisdom, forget the self-doubt. You will never, ever make any progress in life if you don’t listen to the beat of your own drum.

© 2011 Susan Korwin

“Promises are like crying babies in the theater, they should be carried out immediately”..Norman Vincent Peale

There is an expression, “you are your word”. This is so very true. I can still remember when I was 9 years old, a friend of my parents told me that if can stop biting my nails for a week, she will then buy me a beautiful present. Well…that was all the incentive I needed, and after a week, I told my mom to let her know that the deed was done. I stood by as my mom phoned her, and she said that the present would arrive shortly. It never came. Now, if I can still remember this disappointment so many, many years later, you can imagine how shattered I was that this woman broke her promise to me.  It is true that children are far more sensitive and aware of promises being broken. Love and trust are a child’s natural tendency. They want nothing more than to believe every word we say. This is what makes them “innocent”. Distrust and disappointment is learned over time through acts of untrustworthy behavior by adults. This woman didn’t realize that by making this promise to me and breaking it, she made the first “chip” in my trusting armor.

Ok, now that I talked about my experience as a child, let’s move on to the topic of  “keeping your word”. Without your word, you are nothing. We complain consistently about politicians who don’t keep their campaign promises. That is usually the number one reason for a lack of trust in our elected leaders.  Unfortunately, this is not unique to politicians. Many of us have formed a habit of promising to deliver that which we know we can’t. It runs the gamut of promising to pay back money, keeping a secret, or keeping an appointment at the dentist! If you can’t follow through, then don’t promise.  Your word is sterling silver and it takes only a minute to tarnish!  I have learned a lot about people through their actions on this subject. I have come across many who proved to me that they have no integrity. If someone follows through and keeps their promise to me, they have gained my full respect. The tone of our relationship has been set. Words are meaningless unless we see the action that backs up these words!

But, keeping your word is not only about gaining the respect of others, it’s about respecting yourself.  We need to keep promises made to ourselves just as much as to others. How many of us make the promise that “starting Monday, I will change my eating habits”, or “I will stop smoking”? How many of us actually follow through on that promise?  It’s all about self-discipline, and self-discipline can be learned.  I heard about a man at a seminar that said “I am going to start smoking, get drunk as often as I can and cheat on my wife on a regular basis. Since I know I always do the opposite of my New Year’s resolutions, I know I will have a successful year”!  He can joke about it, but his obvious distrust in himself is actually quite sad. As I said in the above paragraph, when someone goes back on their word, we lose all respect for them and avoid their company. By deceiving ourselves by making empty promises we don’t keep, we are actually causing ourselves to distrust and disrespect ourselves! Now, you can either never promise anything to yourself or others, which then would rid you of any responsibility, or you can make promises but follow through, which takes effort. Until you see results, you will not trust yourself or others. The fact is that keeping promises to yourself proves that you respect and consider yourself as important as others.

If you are used to making huge promises, such as “I will stop eating sugar starting tomorrow”, try starting with baby steps. Maybe you can cut out dessert at dinner, then move on from there, gradually deleting soda, candy and other sugars. Keep things achievable. Start a journal and write three tasks you promise to achieve each day. For instance, make that call to your friend that you have been delaying. Or take a walk around the block. How about cleaning out half your closet instead of the whole thing?! Mark each journal entry “done” as each is achieved. The feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment will astound you. Once you start keeping your word on the little things, you can move on to bigger promises.  Keeping promises to yourself, as well as others, will bring success to so many areas of your life, including higher self-esteem, self-respect and achieved goals. I give you my word!

© 2011 Susan Korwin

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about how fast time has fled! When did my children become men? When did I become the far end of middle age?

When I was young and working my first job, a lady in the office said ( and I remember it like yesterday!), “once you hit 40, life goes by like a speeding bullet”. Of course, being only 23 at the time, she was preaching to the choir. I heard what she said, but it really didn’t make much of an impact at the time. As I went through my life, every once in a while, her words rang in my ears. Especially now! She was so right! Where has the time gone? It feels as if I blinked, and here I am many, many years later.

I think now about all the times I squandered days worrying about how I looked, which friend liked me and which one didn’t, etc. Would I have done the same if I knew how fast time would go and how I would look back and wish I knew what I know now? It’s hard to say. But, I do know that in my present state, I try to put things in the right perspective before ruining what is a gift: The present moment.
Unfortunately, we tend to think we are going to live forever and treat time as a commodity to take for granted. We waste our days on negativity, status seeking, and chasing the happiness that we say we will have once “our ship comes in”. We are oblivious to all the opportunities for happiness that surround us each and every day. If you are just existing in your life and waiting for things to change, I suggest you change your perspective starting now. You don’t want to reach the end of your life with regrets about all you missed. Start prioritizing how you want to live your life that is filled with moments of blessings.

I have met many people who have gone through terrible illness. I have also met people who were in accidents which they survived. All these people share the same thought: They appreciated a new passion and appreciation for life that they didn’t have before. They know that in the beat of a heartbeat, life can change. Each moment now is a gift that needs to be savored. They now live with passion, opening their arms to embrace every fleeting moment.

Some of us ponder the meaning of life and what their purpose is. For each of us, it’s a personal journey. The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to be the best at anything. You don’t have to sit back because you are afraid of failure. Discover what makes you happy and then go for it. Do something that makes you come alive. I will say it again: Life is short. If you have a dream, go make it happen! If you always wanted to visit Europe, then make a plan and go! If you are holding on to negative feelings…hate, anger, resentment….let them go. In the end, it doesn’t really matter. We must understand, and I wish I would have realized this as a young woman, that life is not meant to be complicated and stressful. Focus on what really counts.

There are 1,440 minutes in each day. How will you spend your 1,440 minutes? I, for one, plan on appreciating each one of those minutes. My life may be fleeting, but I intend to make it full!

© 2011 Susan Korwin

First and foremost, encouraging others is one of the best ways to inspire. Critical and derogatory comments will only cause negative reaction and can easily undo any positive influence you may have instilled. Concentrate on what others can do instead of what they can’t do. Your praise may be the only nice thing they’ve heard all day.

Be sincere. What this means is that you should always act in a way that is honest and filled with integrity. A person who is not sincere acts in a way that changes as the wind blows. They cannot be counted on. On the other hand, a person who is sincere is consistent with how they live their life and can be counted on to always do the right thing in any situation.

Be humble. Do things for others without expectation of being rewarded or for the purpose of impressing others. If all we do is boast and brag about what we do, what charity events we’ve attended, and how many people love us, we will fail to inspire, but succeed in boring others and failing at the very thing we hope to do: Inspire!

Realize that it’s not your job to change others, but to support and encourage without being demanding. Give others the freedom to be themselves, while gently guiding them in the right direction. They will be grateful for your concern, yet they won’t resent you for being too “pushy”.

I, for one, believe in being kind to others. I always hold a door, let someone ahead of me in line, or find something nice to say. Even the nastiest person cannot help by smile if you give them a compliment. Random acts of kindness are contagious; one good deed leads others to follow our example.

Actions speak louder than words! Always realize that people watch what you do more than what you say. You can talk from today to tomorrow about how kind you are to others and how you are a trusted friend and associate. But, it your words don’t match your actions, most people eventually realize it and walk away. Be someone to look up to!

Take an interest in others. This means looking them in the eye when they talk to you and really care about what they are saying. Don’t look around the room and wonder who else is there. People notice, even though you think they may not. This is a very uninspiring trait.

Just like sponges, we soak in what we are surrounded by. Let’s all try to inspire others by spreading honesty, encouragement, positivity and love.
If you would like to be a part of my daily Facebook “blog”, check out my page and “like” it! Susan Korwin Life and Style Consultant

© 2011 Susan Korwin

Lately, I have received many emails asking me to write an article about how to deal with lost trust and what can be done to rebuild it. Is it really possible to ever trust someone who has disappointed us and stolen our faith in them? We all want and need to know that the person we trust with either our secrets, our love, or our friendship will honor that trust. When we find out that they have not, it can be a life-altering and shattering experience.

Let’s begin with what the basic understanding is of what it means to trust someone. Trust is more than just “relying” on someone. Reliable people in our lives can be the mailman, our nanny or even the guy who mows our lawn once a week. Does this mean that because we rely on them that we can trust them? So what makes trusting someone more than just relying on them? Do we have to love a person in order to trust them? Not necessarily. Trust is really about exposing our soul to another person; it’s about trusting another person to hold our promises, vows and secrets without ever abandoning us.

But, let’s be realistic also. As long as we are human, we can expect that things won’t always be perfect. Basic human nature is complex, and sometimes people do things that they are sorry for. At this point, you can have limited trust until you regain, through patience and slow rebuilding, a new and growing trust. Unfortunately, people let us down. It happens all the time. It’s up to us to make a choice whether that person is worth our energy or whether they never meant much to us to begin with. If the prior is the case, then you must give them another chance and be willing to work on the relationship. Don’t continually remind that person about the past events that led to your loss of trust. If you are truly trying to rebuild your relationship, it is not fair to bring up the past. Leave it behind where it belongs. Let them know that the hurt they have caused you through their actions may take some time to heal. You both need to reaffirm your commitment to the relationship and the desire to overcome the incident that led to the mistrust. Above all, be patient. Allow the other person time to prove themselves trustworthy again. This is a process that will not happen over night, and may actually take a long time to regain completely. Regaining trust is a healing process, much like any injury. You shouldn’t expect things to get better quickly, and it may leave a permanent scar. It will take time and effort on the part of both of you if you hope to carry on a healthy relationship and learn to trust again. Keep in mind, though, that if the other person is not sincere about changing, and continues to lie or betray your trust, then it is time to consider ending that relationship.

© 2011 Susan Korwin

A balanced life is an essential element to living a life of success and harmony. If you overdo one part of your life (maybe business), and completely ignore the other (recreation, family, etc), it’s going to catch up with you, and, trust me, you will not be a happy camper. Life is a balancing act, and just like those who walk a tight rope in the circus, it takes a lot of skill to keep from crashing down.
Let’s be realistic. There are many pieces of the pie that make up the whole of our daily life. There is our health, our finances, our business, our family, our romance, our recreation and our spiritual life, to name a few. We don’t spend every day concentrating on every one of these aspects. But, down the road, if we neglect most and concentrate on only one or two, eventually we become off balance. For instance, if you only concentrate on finances and business and neglect your health, your family and social life suffers. If you only concentrate on having a social life, your business will suffer. Finding the balance is essential to a harmonious existence, and it is up to you to make the choice. You should take a look at your life and notice how much time you are spending on each component I listed above. If one seems to stick out among the rest, it may be time to re-prioritize. Always remember that life can be adjusted to suit any need. It just takes careful planning.
Try this:
Draw a large pizza and divide it into 8-10 slices. Name each slice with an area of your life that is important to you. (family, friends, personal growth, money, business, religion, vacation, etc.)
In each slice, make a dot to rate your satisfaction with that particular area of your life, using the outer rim of the pie as 100% satisfied. For instance, if you are just a little satisfied with your concentration on vacationing, place your dot near the bottom of the slice. Do this in every slice of the pie. When you are finished, connect the dots and see if your new “circle” is even or “out of balance”.
If you find that it is irregular, realize that there are aspects of your life that need tending.
It’s very important to focus on saying “no” to people and things that are not totally important and set limits. If you are spending 12 hours a day working, set a new limit of 8 hours a day. There are always creative ways to cut down hours yet still get the job done. Try delegating some of your tasks to others who are just as capable of getting the job done. While they do that, you can be tending to a phone call or visit to your parents. In the case of my friend, she now has asked her sister to help with some of the start up tasks of the new business while she makes specific times during the day to take breaks with her children. Make sure you take time for yourself to do what you LOVE. You deserve it, and it is an important part of a healthy, balanced life. Get up an hour earlier and do some yoga, meditate, or watch the sunrise. While you are enjoying this “alone” time, reflect on your life, your priorities and where you are going. When we are running on automatic pilot, we tend to forget exactly where we are in life and who and what matters. Take the time to really reflect on how much time you are taking away from one area of your life and missing out on another area. It’s really simple to put things back in balance by prioritizing and managing your time. Stop over-scheduling. Eliminate what is not really important to you. When your life is chaotic and over complicated, you are leaving no room for enjoyment, personal growth, good relationships, or even a good night’s sleep. Of course, things may always pop up in your day that will cause you to readjust something that was already planned. Let that other obligation go for the time being and go with the flow. Be reasonable, stop trying to be perfect, and your days will not only be balanced, but so, so rewarding!

© 2011 Susan Korwin